Or more exactly – posting /publishing.
It’s not like someone who is attached to his pen and paper could ever stop writing and this way getting rid of all his thoughts. Over time writing becomes an obsession and develops into more of a need than a hobby. And its not even like I stopped caring for my blog. I was recently checking my website, never even thinking about shutting it down.
But since I couldnt get myself to post anything, the idea of closing it all down completely drew closer. It only seemed logical for the last few weeks. Whenever I had written and then was about to click on the tiny little ‘publish’ button a thought crossed my mind. I asked myself whether this text was needed and beneficial. None of them WERENT, but none of them were very beneficial in a sense that it might have some real impact as well. I also thought, that I am not qualified to write in any way. In religious regards – I am not an alim, Im not even a theologian, although I’ve benefitted from a good religious education from child –age on.So I have knowledge, but not even nearly as much as those who are truly qualified to state any opinion – I thought.
People should go on and read texts, which were truly important and of truly qualified poeple. The internet makes nearly everything easily accessible from home. Ancient texts of great scholars of the islamic history have become available in modern English.Those were texts worth the read. Texts worth the time. Truly educating texts. Who was I ? I shouldnt waste peoples time.
I never talked about this to anyone. When I finally opened up to a friend of mine she shook her head. ‘Thats so wrong’, she said. ‘Those who read that kind of literature will continue doing so and those who dont might get into the muslim mindset through yours.’
One more reason was, that I noticed my texts getting more and more critical of other people. Especially liberal ‘neomuslims’ as I call them. Doubting any benefit from putting out criticism I didnt post any of these texts.
Just to realize now,that the opinions I hold might be radical, but should be put out there to give a counterside to all the wishy washy ‘Islam is only love’-texts which are on the rise.
I hope we can reverse this trend.
However – thats why I had stopped.
And thats why I’ll ınsaallah start again. Just need some motivation
